RVs are not for off road travel

After our wonderful morning, we decided to go to Elkhorn Ranch, one of the 2 ranches once owned by Teddy Roosevelt. After all, it was on the way.

Turns out the ranch is just that, privately owned with no buildings to see, no desk where he sat. Nothin but the badlands (which are beautiful) along a clay dirt/gravel road. While that is disappointing, the real problem was that we sucked in lots and lots and lots of red dust. To make matters worse, we got lost. So there we were, driving along the bottom of the badlands in a dust-filled RV wondering if we were going to be eligible for an I'm Still Alive episode before the day was over.

We finally made it to Medora, covered in dust.  Red dust. My sister in law, Carrie, helped me clean the beast as best we could while Scott and Shane took the kids to the pool. The pool water now has a pink hue to it...

I have attached a photo of the bottom of a drawer in the back of the RV with a message written in the dust in case you think I'm exaggerating.

Tip for the day: Never, never, never drive an RV on a gravel road for an extended period of time.

Will fill you in on the Medora Musical tomorrow.

North Dakota RV Adventure, Day 4

Interesting night last night. Golf ball size hail pounded on us for what seemed like an eternity beginning around 2 am I think. Thankfully, girls slept through it. No broken windows or mirrors and everything seems to be working.

Made a run through Wally World in Williston for a few provisions. Ever hear the story of the guy driving down the highway in an RV and stepping away from the wheel to grab a snack? Imagine that in a Wal-Mart parking lot. No damage to life, limb or property.

Took a detour to check out the Missouri-Yellowstone Confluence Area. Beautiful! Lewis & Clark were here! Fort Buford, the site where Sitting Bull surrendered, is there so we stopped in. Stood in the very room where the historic event took place in 1881. See photos, which include girls sitting in a handmade canoe.

A word (or several) about oil. As you know, I come up this way a few times a year. The oil boom continues to change the landscape here. There are makeshift mobile/motor home parks everywhere. Truck traffic is frustrating. I don't feel the same safety for my kids. The quiet is gone. But maybe the saddest thing is this beautiful landscape is dotted more and more with oil wells. Signs of prosperity, for sure, but not aesthetically pleasing. I'm all about energy independence, but it sure comes at a price. Does anyone see the irony in me writing this little speech while riding in a vehicle that gets 7 mpg???

On the way to Theodore Roosevelt's Elkhorn Ranch, then to Medora. Going to the pitchfork bbq and Medora Musical tonight. Golfing at Bully Pulpit golf course tomorrow. Supposed to be a beautiful course, which is good. We will need a distraction from my golf game.

North Dakota RV Adventure, Day 3

The pressure of a blog... Ok, here goes.

We saw some pretty cool things yesterday. I drove so Scott could work. This allowed me to enjoy the rolling hills and farms in Wisconsin, the beautiful lakes in Minnesota, and the strong North Dakota headwind we were greeted with. Once we got past the lunchtime drama, it was smooth sailing. Open roads and pretty countryside.

We stayed at the Prairie Village Campground in Jamestown, ND. At first I thought I heard some banjos playing, but I was mistaken. We walked to the Prairie Village - some photos attached, including one of Sarah in the slammer, the girls posing under the world's largest buffalo, and the girls posing in front of the buffalo herd. The light one posing in the background is White Cloud. She is an albino. She also has an albino calf, photo attached. These are the only two known albino buffalo living in the world. They have a spiritual significance to Native Americans. As for the world's largest buffalo, Sarah thinks there is a truth in advertising violation. She feels she was led to believe it was real.

We took the scenic route (on purpose) to Minot to pick up our 1998 Eddie Bauer Edition Ford Expedition with 118,000 miles on it so I have something to cruise town in when we get to Crosby. We arrived in Williston around 4:30, just in time to plug the RV in at Williston State College and attend their 50th anniversary athletic banquet.  Scott's mom and aunt joined us and his aunt drove the Expedition back to Crosby. As I write, the girls are sleeping, it is storming, and Scott is partying with old friends.

Tomorrow we head to Medora for the weekend. That is the last leg of this adventure.

Lunch

We are stopped at a rest area between the twin cities & St. Cloud having a little lunch. Leftover tacos and turkey sandwiches.

I have been driving. Apparently, Clark doesn't appreciate my lane placement and speed suggestions. After driving in 5 lanes of bumper to bumper traffic through the twin cities, I decided to try my hand meandering through a suburb looking for just the right gas station. I seem to held up a young, blond biotch in a black Mercedes trying to get to the back of a long line of traffic waiting at a light. Clearly, no one has coached her on the fine points of The Law of Gross Tonnage.She waved a nicely manicured finger at me. Sarah wanted to call the police. I told her not to worry. That lady is going to burn in hell for eternity for flipping mommy off.  Ahhh, I'm bringing out the best in those around me today!

Better hit the road...

North Dakota RV Adventure, Day 2

We are on the road again. Slept pretty good last night. Might have had something to do with the two 24 oz Bacardi O & Cokes I enjoyed.

The case of the giant cow statue has been solved. See photo.

Made a pot of coffee, then opted for breakfast at McDonalds. Tip of the day: Always park in the lot with the big trucks. I'll leave this one up to your imagination.

We are happy to report that all systems are working ... at the moment. The refrigerator is cooling nicely, house hvac is keeping up and, yes, the shitter smell is under control. Unfortunately, Maggie seems to have been affected by the whole smell problem of yesterday. She is opting to relieve herself in nasty truck stop bathrooms. Even with the smell, that one's a toss up for me.

GPS (with corrected time zone) shows us arriving in Jamestown, ND around 4 pm CDT. Should give us plenty of time to set up camp and still see the world's largest buffalo. I hope it isn't like the world's largest boar at the fair.

Going to test the new Coleman collapseable camp grill tonight. Burgers, brats and beans. Could end up with another odor problem....

All settled in - 1st night

Well, we only got honked at once (by a semi) and a toll booth ran into our mirror. All in all, a good day.

I have to admit a navigator error. The Garmin does not adjust for time zones, so we made it to the KOA an hour earlier than we thought.  Not much to look at today. Illinois looks like Indiana. Flat, dry farmland...

Tacos for dinner. See photo for details.

This KOA is like the Conrad Hilton of KOA's (admittedly this is only the 2nd one I've ever seen). Pool, playground, convenience store (which sells adult beverages), free WiFi, etc. We are thinking of moving here.

I can sense you are wondering about the shitter. I cannot tell a lie. It stinks to high heaven...but only when you flush. We are trying to get to the bottom of it. Really bad pun, I know. I pumped Scott full of gin & tonic before he went in for a major tank rinse. Will give you a status report tomorrow.

The girls climbed on top of the Beast tonight & reported they saw a giant statue of a cow. We are in Wisconsin.Will investigate in the morning.

Attached are some photos from the day.  A quick call out to my peeps - the Lids Ladies. You created this monster!

North Dakota RV Adventure, Day 1

Clark stepped behind the wheel at about 3:10 pm EDT and we are on our way. GPS says ETA at Madison WI KOA is 8:37 pm CDT. It's 3:39 pm. So far we only almost hit the left rear corner of a semi once. We also tested the rumble strips on the shoulder of the highway. They work.

The girls are drawing at the table and I'm wishing I had gotten a big bottle of Xanax from Dr. McCallum.

Attached is a photo of the beast and one of Clark in action!

The Beast is Ready!

You might say getting ready for the 2012 Maiden RV Adventure was an adventure in itself. After obtaining my certification in RV ownership (involved watching a bunch of YouTube how to videos) the fresh water system is sanitized (we hope) and the water pump primed. I, for one still intend to drink bottled water. Has anyone ever died from showering in bad water??? Ok, so we left the really important stuff, like the propane system check, up to Camping World. Unfortunately, Clark didn't check for plumbing leaks. Toilet sprays water when flushing. So, Dad took the beast back to Camping World for a quick fix of some vacuum thingy. Those guys are great..so is Dad! Beast now parked in front of Andretti Manor in the Burg. Mom & Dad got the thing leveled & the frig is cooling. Thinking of filling it with PBR. Oh yeah, I don't drink beer. Maybe some Bartles & James....

But first a quick trip to Nashville

This blog was born on a drive with the Lids Ladies to Nashville. Julie gets the credit for the blog name. We are currently brainstorming various red neck tonics to put in the frig. Wild Turkey, Boone's Farm, Red White & Blue are just a few of the suggestions. Anita is driving. I'm proud of her. Using the accelerator and ranting at other drivers like I do.

....

Sorry, I got a little distracted. I was trying to figure out where the heavy bass was coming from. You know the kind. You are sitting at a stop light & the guy next to you has the base turned all the way up rocking to his rap. Turned out it was Beth. Who knew?